Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
