Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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