Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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