I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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