Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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