remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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