Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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