Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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