grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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