You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
