Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
