I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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