Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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