Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
