I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
