this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
