lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
