pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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