what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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