1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
