Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
