I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is Oprah even human
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
