So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
