ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A bitchslap is in order.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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