i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
