My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
