Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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