I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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