so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
