Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize