We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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