toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
