had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
