drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
