we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
