Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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