Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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