Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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