so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
