Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize