I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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