so that wasnt chicken after all
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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