oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Damn victory sex feels great
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
