i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
