Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
