I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
