"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
