So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
