went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize