i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
