Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
