id be glad to
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
