Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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