last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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