that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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