I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
