Is it normal to miss your booty call?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
