he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
