C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
