i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
