I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
