her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
