just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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