Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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